Tag: culture

  • “What We Remember, We Keep-Alive”

    “What We Remember, We Keep-Alive”

    I had been working on the newest book in my Culinary Crossroads series, where Jamaal was supposed to return home—to the States and the old South.

    I thought it would be simple.

    A return to where it all began.

    A pilgrimage from the polished kitchens of Manila to the front porches, fields, and kitchens that shaped so many of us long before we ever touched a passport.

    I thought I was writing about food.

    But the deeper I dug, the more I realized that it was never just food.

    It was survival.

    It was remembrance.

    It was resistance disguised as Sunday dinner.

    I read everything I could find.

    The recipes were there, sure.

    But what kept catching me, snagging me like thorns on an old fence line, were the traditions.

    Not just what we ate but how we ate.

    Why we seasoned the way we did.

    Why were our celebrations, mourning, and rituals around food and music crafted in ways no cookbook could fully explain?

    It started long before we were “we” in any way we would recognize now—

    on the plantations,

    where bits and pieces of fading memories were passed down by those brought here, enslaved, stolen, stripped, but not erased.

    They blended what they remembered with what little they had.

    Cornmeal. Greens. Off-cuts and castoffs.

    They made necessity taste like something more than survival.

    They made it taste like home.

    And over generations, through sheer will and stubborn brilliance, we built something uniquely ours.

    Not just in the food but in the music,

    the way we buried our dead,

    the way we married our loved ones,

    and the way we danced when the sun went down and the cotton fields emptied.

    These traditions aren’t static.

    They are not museum pieces under glass.

    They are living and breathing things—regional and even tribal, depending on where your people ended up.

    That phrase kept echoing in my mind:

    “Where your people from.”

    The old folks would ask you that when they met you.

    After you named whatever city you lived in now—Detroit, Chicago, Kansas City—they’d look deeper, waiting for the real answer.

    They were talking about the South.

    Not the city, but the state.

    The county.

    The plantation.

    The place that owned your ancestors.

    It was a question about roots.

    (Writing that even now feels like swallowing glass.)

    The place that owned your ancestors.

    So many years later, and it’s still hard to say.

    Still hard to look at without flinching.

    And then came the “Great Migration,” or as some called it, “The Great Exodus.”

    We left with almost nothing.

    No land. No wealth. No easy road.

    But we took what mattered.

    We carried our recipes.

    We carried our songs.

    We carried the parts of ourselves that they could not steal, whip out of us, or erase.

    And for decades, it sustained us.

    Soul Food. Soul Music.

    Names born not in marketing rooms but in living rooms, storefront churches, and kitchens where steam and sorrow rose together.

    And now?

    Now, the word “Soul” feels almost quaint.

    Almost forgotten.

    Funny, isn’t it?

    What slavery couldn’t kill, freedom quietly erased.

    In chasing new beginnings, we risk losing the old songs.

    The taste of real cornbread.

    The sound of a mother’s hum in the kitchen.

    The wisdom tucked into the folds of a handwritten recipe card.

    As I write Jamaal’s story, I realize I’m writing my own.

    Our own.

    The story of a people who carried more than pain.

    We carried genius.

    We carried grace.

    We carried soul.

    And it’s on us—not the history books, not the tourists looking for “authenticity”—to remember what we made from nothing.

    And to keep making it while we still can.

    Before the last song fades.

    Before the last plate is cleared.

    Before the last story goes untold.

    By Kyle Hayes

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    #BlackVoices #MemoryAndLegacy #WeAreOurAncestorsDreams #StorytellingMatters

  • The Family Table

    The Family Table

    By Kyle J. Hayes

    Family-style food.

    Most people hear that, and they think of big tables, long benches, and a group of people laughing too loud over plates passed back and forth. But that’s not what I’m talking about. Not today.

    I’m talking about restaurants run by families.

    It is not some faceless corporate chain where recipes are born in a test kitchen, engineered by marketing teams to maximize shelf life and “mouthfeel.”

    I’m talking about food with history, with bloodlines, with stories.

    Food where the recipe doesn’t come from a corporate memo but from someone’s grandmother.

    Food brought over from the old country—whether that country is Mexico, Korea, Vietnam, or somewhere in between—served with the kind of pride you can taste in every bite.

    Albuquerque happens to be one of the best cities in America for this.

    A city that has kept its soul intact, where authentic New Mexican cuisine still sits at the center of the table, smothered in red and green chile. Where you can find Mexican food served out of family-run spots that have no PR teams, no focus groups—just a sign out front and a kitchen that runs out of beef tongue tacos because they’re that good.

    Places that don’t need Instagram filters or foodie influencers because their customers already know.

    And don’t even get me started on the Asian spots—Orchid Thai, my quiet little secret I hate to share because I know what happens when the wrong people find out.

    I’ve seen it before.

    Take Coda Bakery, my go-to for an excellent banh mi. I always order the #1. It used to be a hidden gem until the word got out.

    Then came the food bloggers.

    Then came the Food Network.

    Now, I stand in line with tourists, waiting for something that once felt like mine alone.

    But that’s how it goes.

    The best things, once discovered, never stay secret.

    And in a way, that’s okay.

    The beauty of family-run restaurants isn’t just that they make the best food you’ve ever had—they make it proudly, and they’ll make it for everyone.

    The recipe doesn’t change when the line gets longer.

    The taste doesn’t shift to accommodate Yelp stars or branded merch.

    What you’re eating is still the same dish someone’s auntie made years ago, the same soup someone’s father learned to perfect, the same bread someone’s mother kneaded in the early morning hours.

    It’s real.

    And real food leaves a mark.

    Most of the time, I’m not one to go out. I don’t care much for the noise, the scene, the crowd.

    I get my food to-go, bring it home, eat in peace.

    But occasionally, when I need to remind myself why it matters, I’ll go.

    I’ll sit.

    Order a beer.

    And try to guess what I should get.

    Yes, it helps that I know the owners.

    But friendship only gets you so far.

    The food does the rest.

    That’s family style.

    Not the furniture.

    Not the gimmick.

    But the food—and the love—you’ll never find in a chain.

    And the family that keeps serving it anyway.

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