I had a friend who was very ill. One time when I visited her in the hospital, she asked if she could have her finances sent to me. I told her no. She had a boyfriend. She had family. I did not want to put myself in the middle of anything that could turn complicated after she passed.
At the time, it felt like the right thing to do. Or at least the safest.
After she died, her brother texted me asking if I could help financially with her funeral and arrangements. That shocked me, because I knew she had money in her account. When no one said much after that, I started to understand why she had asked me in the first place.
That has stayed with me for years.
What bothers me most is that even now, I do not fully know what I would do differently. I wish I had understood what she was really asking. I wish I had seen more clearly what might happen after she was gone. But I also know I was trying to avoid trouble, confusion, and pain.
Kyle J. Hayes
kylehayesblog.com
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