Not empty.
Not lonely in the way people sometimes imagine loneliness.
Just quiet.
A small life, perhaps. At least from the outside. Not much noise. Not much clutter. Not much reaching for things I never truly wanted. A home with only what I need. A few good meals. A place to write. A place to sit. A window where the light comes in, honestly, without asking anything of me.
I have learned that some people dream of more.
More rooms. More noise. More invitations. More proof that they are alive because the world keeps calling their name.
But I have always been drawn to less.
Less interruption.
Less performance.
Less pretending that constant movement is the same thing as purpose.
During the COVID lockdown, when the world grew afraid of stillness, I found something in it that felt almost like mercy. I know that may sound strange. I know isolation is not always healthy. I know people suffered. I know silence can become a room with no door if we stay inside it too long.
But there was something about that quiet.
The roads softened. The days slowed down. The world stopped demanding that everyone be everywhere at once. For a little while, life lost its appetite for spectacle.
And in that space, I could think.
I could hear myself.
Not the self I perform for others. Not the self shaped by obligation or expectation. The quieter one. The one beneath the noise. The one who had been waiting for the world to hush long enough to speak.
My ideal life would not be a complete withdrawal from people. I do not believe we are meant to disappear from one another entirely. But I would want a life where connection is chosen, not forced. Where peace is not treated like laziness. Where stillness is not mistaken for failure.
I would want simple food made with care. Books close by. Music when I need it. Silence when I need that more.
I would want mornings that do not begin in panic.
I would want evenings that do not leave me exhausted.
I would want enough.
Not abundance as the world defines it.
Enough space.
Enough time.
Enough quiet.
Enough peace to become myself fully.
Kyle J. Hayes
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Resources for Hard Times
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